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    LF2CHARACTER - Forum » Entertainment » Forum Games » Jokes! (Funfest)
    Jokes!
    ArmormewDate: Wednesday, 2008-08-06, 4:56 PM | Message # 1
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    Share any and all of your jokes here!

    Here's one to start off with:

    A boy was born without torso, arms or legs, but the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him. Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms pops out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender ignores the whole affair. By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left.... then to the right.... right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly. The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief.

    The bartender sighs and says, "That boy should have quit while he was still a head."




    Message edited by Armormew - Wednesday, 2008-08-06, 4:58 PM
     
    jamaalDate: Wednesday, 2008-08-06, 7:05 PM | Message # 2
    Lieutenant
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    Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

    A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder."
    The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.

    Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"

    Added (2008-08-06, 7:05 Pm)
    ---------------------------------------------
    Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very
    attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."

    With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly
    departed...

    The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."


    Respect nothing, loose every thing...
     
    ArmormewDate: Wednesday, 2008-08-06, 7:45 PM | Message # 3
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    Disclaimer: No disrespect is intended. The country references are for joking purposes only.
    An Englishman, Scotsman, and an Irishman are running from the police. They hide on a potato farm. They crawl into some potato sacks on the ground. The first cop pokes the bag with the Englishman in it. He says, "Meow, Meow." The cop says: "Hey! it is just a cat." The second cop pokes the bag with the Scotsman in it. He says, "Woof, Woof." The cop says: that must be just a dog. The third cop pokes the bag with the Irishman in it. He yells out: "Potatoes! Potatoes!"


     
    masterquatikDate: Wednesday, 2008-08-06, 9:05 PM | Message # 4
    Major-general
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    did you ever hear of the guy who lost his left side? hes "all right " now
     
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